What are the odds that Emile Hirsch googles himself now and again when he’s not working. You know, when he’s just lazing about, in between games of Nintendo Wii boxing and knocking back the odd Stella Artois or two? Cause I was thinking about The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys the other day and the image of Emile popped into my head and I thought, well, if Eddie turned me down…?

Hey, Emile. Howzit going, man? How’s the weather in L.A.? Hot as hell like always, eh? I used to live there, down in The Valley. My eyes are still burning from the brush fires and Santa Anna winds.

Listen…I just finished this insane screenplay about a 17 year old painter who stumbles across some ancient magic discovered by the Neanderthal in Lascaux 30,000 years ago and he uses it to address the problems in his miserable, war-torn life. See, the draft has been reinstated and the war machine has borrowed his older brother who also happens to be the compass in his life – and you know how the military is about borrowing stuff.

Anyway, he ends up in this private school full of kids whose parents are wealthy and connected enough to keep them out of danger and he wants to strangle them every single day. Then he gets all this power, bringing his bizarre and scary paintings to life, and we see just how twisted he really is. It’s rad.

Anyway, I’m planning on posting an excerpt at this address in a day or two but if you’re already interested, hit “contact”, let me know what’s up, and I’ll jump onto Expedia right away. Stellas on me.

ps. Oh, and Jodie would be perfect to play your ma. Just a thought. Cheers.