…I ain’t got time to take no fast train/Oh, the lonely days are gone/I’ll be comin’ home/My baby she wrote me a letter…
Great song, great singer, great photo. Actually, Joe looks a little like the “Child Catcher” from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in this. And, if I’m being honest, a little like Bruce Springsteen circa ’75 moments after being infected by the 28 Days/Weeks Later virus. And speaking of letters, I just sent out approximately 32 of them to a very specialized list of agencies that I actually, truly think would be interested in representing me. What am I expecting? Nothing. What am I hoping? That just one will find the logline and pitch interesting enough to ask to read the screenplay. Just one.
But like I said, I’m expecting nothing. Hollywood is interesting in that the industry appears to have very little tolerance for a learning curve in unrepresented writers, yet each one is looking for something different. If you don’t believe me, go ahead and research the correct way to write query letters. Every new thing you read will make you think the opposite of the last thing you read. Some say, “keep it short and sweet, they don’t have time for you, you’re annoying them” and others say, “make sure you start off with something clever, and include a synopsis and a resume and say something interesting about yourself”. Uh…okay. Whatever you choose, you will undoubtedly read something after all the letters are on their way that will keep you up at night thinking you’ve ruined your chance. Months, maybe years of work on a labor of love has all gone down the toilet because you failed to play by the rules, possibly from the first word. Believe me, I know. This has happened to me. I was up at four in the morning wishing I could have them all back. It sucks, and I look a little like Joe’s t-shirt up there this morning.
But it’s the way it is.
I also entered The Collection: Legend of Fortunate Son into two contests that have among their rewards guaranteed exposure to various agencies. To be totally honest, I don’t even care about the cash prizes and can’t remember a single figure that I skimmed pertaining to them. Why? Cause I want to write so badly for a living and tell stories that may end up on the big screen that I would use any money I won to buy a reading. I really would. Even if I was starving and had holes in my flip-flops. And if I do get lucky enough to reach a finalist position and get some cash, that’s exactly what I will do. I will come here and offer it up as a reward for anyone who can guarantee me a reading from someone on my list. I’m sure I’ll need a little proof that it’s legit, but if it is, the cash is yours and you can do what you want with it. In fact, I may not wait until I win. Name your price. Seriously. Do I sound desperate? Maybe. But in this game, there’s very little that separates desperation from intelligent self-marketing.
I should mention that there have also been some positives that have come out of this arduous process. For one, I’ve read a lot of loglines belonging to properties that have either been sold or have won contests and I can safely say that while I feel in tune with the zeitgeist, I also feel like I’ve something fresh to say and a style all my own. This may work against me at times, but I have to think that once I’m in the door it will work in my favor. The truth is, it’s who I am. I write from the core of my creative bones and I love doing it. I would rather do that and die having not achieved my dream than find limited success in “sheep’s clothing”. Notice I also said “limited”. Sometimes you have to blend in before you break out. And as I said in my last entry, I think I’ve got a story that will help me do just that. As for other positives, I guess I simply like challenges and competition. I like what it does to me. I like to be hungry.
Before I sign off and begin amassing a new list of agencies that might be interested in Outside Men (a story that I have developed a new appreciation for after reading some of the recent horror offerings) allow me to direct you to the official website for Sony Pictures new release “30 Days of Night“. It might be Mac only, but give it a shot. The design is gorgeous and effectively frightening. And there’s a single/multiplayer game on there that is actually quite fun. Also, check out the exclusive 18+ scene and unrated trailer. Holy shit, this looks good. And in case you didn’t know, the film was optioned from a 3 book series graphic novel, and on that front, I may have some good news for my next entry.
Make no mistake. One way or the other, my baby’s gonna write me a letter.